Am I an artist or a wanna be?

[Delores Rhodes]

Hello all,

 

I'm new to the group. I discovered Richard's website and accepted his invitation to his painting workshop that required I join your group. I'm really hoping this will help build my skills, but I'm posting here for different reasons.

 

I'd like to know how other artists feel about my question in the title of this post. I seem to constantly ask it of myself. Do others ask this same question? For the same reasons? I'm looking for some hard truths, (and truth be told, hand holding.)

 

I have always felt that I have the soul of an artist without the prerequisite talent. (Perhaps, there lies the problem.) I have an AA in Graphic Arts, but never pursued it because the kids needed me at home with them. While studying for that degree I discovered calligraphy and have taken classes and weekend workshops for the last 15 years or so, and although I have sold a piece or two, it's never been more than just a hobby. I do teach calligraphy to grade school children for two weeks every summer, but would never try to teach anything more advanced than that. 

 

When the kids grew up and moved away, I went to art school and got a 4 year degree in Fine Arts. I found that experience very frustrating as I'm used to the giving spirit of the calligraphy world, the exacting detail, the specifics of what tool to use when and how to use it. In my painting classes in college my instructors told me to "Paint what I see", and "Just play with the paint". If that was all there was to learning a new skill, I'd also be an astronaut and a brain surgeon! When I said that I wanted instruction; what brush to use for what, thick paint when and thin paint when, how to manipulate the brush to get the shape I need, what kinds of shapes should I use to make a particular image, I got deer-in-the-headlight looks from all of them. They actually said they would not teach me these things, that these were things I had to figure out on my own or I would simply paint like them. My printmaking teacher, sculpture teacher, and drawing teacher felt it important to instruct me in the basics at least, but the entire painting program was focused on concepts. When I pointed out that coming up with a concept was all well and good, but if I didn't have the skills to implement those concepts, what was the point, again, there was that deer-in-the-headlights look or a go-away-you-bother-me attitude. (Sometimes both.)

 

The result is that my painting is mediocre at best. (and painting was why I went to school to begin with) When you add to this my normal insecurities and the fact that I never sit and doodle, my fingers never twitch with the need for a drawing pencil, (although I will look carefully at things to see where the light falls and how the colors change, where the shadows are, etc.) I have to wonder...am I an artist or just pretending? Do I have an ego a mile wide to think it matters? Am I right to be frustrated with my educational experiences? Different people learn differently, so am I just a square peg in a round hole or is there something fundamentally wrong, specific to me?

 

I'm interested to hear what you as artists think and feel. Are my experiences similar to yours or unique to me? 

 

Delores

[Delores Rhodes]

Jytte,

It's good to know I'm not alone!

Thanks,

Delores

[Delores Rhodes]

Hi Saghi,

What a great idea/resource! I'll look into it. Thanks. BTW, I clicked on your name to see your profile and you haven't filled yours out yet. I love to read where everyone is from and a little background info, so if you've got time let us know a little bit about you.

Thanks, again. I'll check out the info.

Delores

[Delores Rhodes]

Hi Saghi,

I understand the problems with identity theft. I only put minimum info on my site. It sounds as if you've figured out a great way to learn about painting. I look forward to hearing from you here on Richard's sites.

See you,

Delores

[Sergei Rioumin]

Hi Delores

I could have written that post myself. I too attended an art school for three years (albeit part-time only) and came to the conclusion that unless you teach yourself they are not going to share technical knowledge with you. It was the most disappointing thing although I liked the atmosphere and courses on colour and anatomy. By now I gathered a considerable collection of art instruction books and videos on anatomy, various paint techniques, research of methods used by Old Masters, different colour mixing approaches etc. I set myself a nearly daily routine and although I paint only about one day per week I do drawing self-training and anatomy every other day. This has helped me a lot. 

As for who is an artist and who is not I also tortured myself with this self-doubt: from time to time, for periods as long as three months I inexplicably cannot force myself to touch the brushes - am I an artist after that? Aren't artists supposed to paint every breathing moment or at least want to? Then I stumbled upon a quote (I can't remember whose anymore) stating that if you cannot stop thinking about doing art and having ideas which you can envisage as your artwork you are a real artist. That gave me enormous piece of mind because now I know that I am one. The level of professionalism is another matter though. I have many ideas that require me to paint human figure, clothes and scenery from my own imagination in a realistic manner. One cannot get there without learning first how to do that from life - real human body, real landscapes and real stillives. I want to achieve a level where I can express myself freely and so that others can instantly identify what I wanted to say, and I do not mean blunt, obvious statements. It's hard and likely to take several years of my life which is now in its second half but the process of getting there is exciting. In a way its true that no one can teach you how to paint, only you can teach yourself using all what's available nowadays on Internet, in books and at art ateliers (university art schools are hopeless).

[Dorian Aronson]

Hi Sergei

Enjoyed reading your complete comment  to  Delores.  Thank you for writing it...........dor:))
 
Sergei Rioumin said:

Hi Delores

I could have written that post myself. . . . . . . . .

I inexplicably cannot force myself to touch the brushes - am I an artist after that? Aren't artists supposed to paint every breathing moment or at least want to? Then I stumbled upon a quote (I can't remember whose anymore) stating that if you cannot stop thinking about doing art and having ideas which you can envisage as your artwork you are a real artist. That gave me enormous piece of mind because now I know that I am one. . . . . . . . . . . .

[Delores Rhodes]

Hello Sergei,

I was very hesitant to write the original post, but am so glad I did, because the response has been wonderful. I really felt such frustration at school and was made to feel as if I was the problem, not the school/staff. Thank you. 

Your comment about the professionalism is great too. I REALLY need to focus on the human form. I've got the books, but it takes practice, not just reading! :-)

Thanks again,

Delores

Delores

Sergei Rioumin said:

Hi Delores

I could have written that post myself. I too attended an art school for three years (albeit part-time only) and came to the conclusion that unless you teach yourself they are not going to share technical knowledge with you. It was the most disappointing thing although I liked the atmosphere and courses on colour and anatomy. By now I gathered a considerable collection of art instruction books and videos on anatomy, various paint techniques, research of methods used by Old Masters, different colour mixing approaches etc. I set myself a nearly daily routine and although I paint only about one day per week I do drawing self-training and anatomy every other day. This has helped me a lot. 

As for who is an artist and who is not I also tortured myself with this self-doubt: from time to time, for periods as long as three months I inexplicably cannot force myself to touch the brushes - am I an artist after that? Aren't artists supposed to paint every breathing moment or at least want to? Then I stumbled upon a quote (I can't remember whose anymore) stating that if you cannot stop thinking about doing art and having ideas which you can envisage as your artwork you are a real artist. That gave me enormous piece of mind because now I know that I am one. The level of professionalism is another matter though. I have many ideas that require me to paint human figure, clothes and scenery from my own imagination in a realistic manner. One cannot get there without learning first how to do that from life - real human body, real landscapes and real stillives. I want to achieve a level where I can express myself freely and so that others can instantly identify what I wanted to say, and I do not mean blunt, obvious statements. It's hard and likely to take several years of my life which is now in its second half but the process of getting there is exciting. In a way its true that no one can teach you how to paint, only you can teach yourself using all what's available nowadays on Internet, in books and at art ateliers (university art schools are hopeless).