Gail - Boat with a Golden Sail (after Sargent)

WS Oil, 14"X11" canvas board
All critiques very welcome!

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Comment by Michael J. Severin on January 24, 2017 at 8:10: I like the wall and its place in the comp.

Comment by Jon Main on January 24, 2017 at 6:32: I too have a hunch the edges could be softened, I love the foreground rock and its positioning - gives a super composition, Gail

Comment by Gail Richardson on January 24, 2017 at 6:30: Interesting comments, Charles and Michael. I thought the sail edges should be sharper than the background edges, to give the sails prominence, and I think that's fine. But then, having chosen to use the original Sargent composition (rather than the mock-up), I had two problems. One is that Sargent's rock wall is a bit confusing to my eye and I had to try to find a reasonable way to present it. The related problem is that it takes up so much real estate in the painting that it tends to attract attention by its mass. I don't feel I really overcame that issue. Sargent didn't much soften the rock edges against the water, but his edges within the rock wall are much more ambiguous than mine, and I think that his looseness there really helps the viewer's eye not to spend an unnecessary amount of time on the wall. But, I like the dark bits - they seem to relate to the windows.
The part of the painting that irks me, now that it's posted (of course) is the sea-wall on the left. It is dirty, and looks like a slice of mouldy Christmas cake. Not sure how to fix that, and it's overworked as it is.

Comment by Pauline Le Merle on January 24, 2017 at 6:07: love your colours Gail, very good painting!

Comment by Michael J. Severin on January 24, 2017 at 5:01: Good observation about the edges Charles, and I agree. In this painting, for some reason, the hard edges did not bother me ... and everyone knows how I harp on edges. Since everything has hard edges, it becomes a dominant compositional element which is nicely relieved by the softness of the water. Maybe harmony and unity were served? As you stated ..maybe this was the plan? Charles, a comparison would be if Thomas Wezwick put one ultra realist tree in his comp., how unity and harmony would be challenged. Maybe this will draw up a discussion ... pun intended.

Comment by Charles Post on January 24, 2017 at 4:26: Very nice. Like you approach to the scene, the angularity in the sail and presentation of the rocks. One observation - the left edges of the sail against the building and the rocks against the water are very hard and crisp. These cause the sail and the rocks to separate from the scene as a whole and creates competing viewing subjects. My eye either follows the rocks up to the sail and off the canvas or down the sail to the rocks and off the canvas. I have to work at coming into the scene for the other details which are well done. But that may be what you intended?

Comment by Gail Richardson on January 24, 2017 at 3:45: Thank you, friends, for your interesting and encouraging observations. I really grew to appreciate Sargent's painting over the course of trying it myself. I found the process difficult and I'm really enjoying seeing everyone's individual take on his painting. Thanks again for your comments!

Comment by Lori Ippolito on January 24, 2017 at 3:35: Gail your drawing is excellent and the painting captures the serenity in the subject..outstanding!!!

Comment by Mairo Piroue on January 24, 2017 at 0:49: This is a lovely painting. I love the rich colour of your sail and you got the drawing of the boat and piers really well - I found those parts pretty tough.